So...I've had many friends who have come over to my place. Having been warned beforehand by many other friends with first hand experience, they take off their shoes in the doorway, greet my parents in the most polite manner they can muster, bow their heads in deepest respect and clasp their hands in front of them to signify their lack of aggression. And then boom, get blown away by the fiercest mom they have ever seen.

Well, having lived for 30 years with my mom, I can confidently say that she is the fiercest and most unreasonable parent amongst all the parents I have seen or even heard of in my circle of friends. Although she has done a few things right, I have promised to myself that I will never repeat the same mistakes and subject my kids to the torturous existence that I have gone through. =)

Here are some of the things I will or will not inflict upon my children. (Speaking to them in the first person seems more meaningful.)

1)I will beat you if needed.(with a cane or a stick)
2)I will make you swim every week.
3)I will not show favoritism.
4)I will not overfeed you.
5)I will feed you dinner before 7pm every day.
6)I will not limit your time at the computer.
7)I will let you organise your own time.
8)You will have to show me that you can finish your daily schoolwork on time.
9)I will never lock you out of the house.
10)I will not condemn your lovers of the opposite sex.
11)I will not cut up your school uniform.
12)I will not call the police on you.
13)I will not ask your school teachers to discipline you.
14)I will train you in the mystical arts of street fighter to avenge my defeats at bugis arcade.
15)Your daily allowance will come as part cash, part food and part tokens.
16)I will not tolerate a PVE over PVP mentality in the family.
additional remarks
16a)Do not pull aggro when your dad is tanking.
16b)Your dad loves to trash talk. It is trash talk. No more no less.
16c)Learn to play properly. Your dad is very pro. People expect no less of his children.
16d)The cane is right next to me. Do not be a loot whore.

17)I will support your additional financial needs as long as you use this priviledge sparingly.
18)I take a very tough stand on drugs and this will be emphasized again and again from young.
19)Smoking is ok as long as u do not take my cigarettes.
20)I will not tolerate sleeping in the toilet unlike what auntie Iris practises.
21)If auntie Annie wants u to greet her as uncle leo, just stick to the former.
22)Do not accumulate loans or make it a habit to borrow money.
23)The Dark Ronin name is a legacy from your parents. Do not tarnish the name.
24)I will demand the same respect from you as I give you.
25)Mom may eat alot, do not follow in her footsteps. She has an extremely high metabolism.
26)Mom is very stubborn give in to her.
27)Mom has a strong ego, be understanding.
28)If Mom wants to know how old she looks, the correct answer is 18.
29)Anything that Mom says about Dad should be immediately written down and reported asap.
30)If Mom wants to know who is more pro, just pat her on the back and assure her that she is.
31)If the pizza in the fridge is not yours, do not eat it. Mom will emo.
32)If you need to bargain with Mom for something, bring her a lychee margarita.
33)Everytime you remind Mom of how awesome Dad is, I will put a dollar in your piggybank.
34)If you see Mom getting very touchy (physically) with Dad, stop everything and go to bed.

Well, this is about all I have time for. Will post again when I can.